The Other Anne
by CheleSedai
Summary: Lily reflects on the episode of the third season opener, Anne.


Disclaimer: The characters of Buffy Summers and Lily do not belong to me. They are the property of Joss Whedon and Mutant Enemy. Characters and concepts featured here are used without permission. . .and simply to have a lot of fun.

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## The Other Anne

by [Michele Mason Bumbarger][1]

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I wondered what she was running from. 

I mean, she always seemed so together. Really. I guess the other kids at school thought she was kind of weird or something, but I sort of knew differently. I knew that she was - well, she was kind of like the sort of person that I always wanted to be. You know, she knew how to do things, magic things, and I always dreamed of knowing how to do magic things. Of how to do anything to make me different. To make me special. 

That's why I joined up with the vampire cult. They made me feel special. You know, like I was somebody important. They sort of cared. They cared more than my family ever did. And they didn't get drunk and yell and beat me. Okay, so maybe it was a little flaky. Even I can see that now, and I've never been too good at figuring stuff out. I'm a little slow I guess. 

But at least I had a reason to run. I was trying to find someplace to go. I was always trying to find someplace to go. But I just couldn't figure out why she was here, pretending to be someone else. I mean, Buffy Summers. She saved us from vampires. Well, she saved most of us - except Ford, maybe - but I try not to think about that too much. It was just kind of weird, to see her there in the diner, all dressed up like a waitress. She was all small and - weak, I think is the word for it. It just didn't seem normal. Not for her. I'm small and weak and that's why I needed Ricky. He didn't mind that I was weak. He liked taking care of me and I don't take care of myself too well. 

That's why I was so scared when Buffy told me that he was dead. That he was dead and he was old when he died. It couldn't be both 'cause Ricky was young and handsome and smart and - well, it couldn't be both ways could it? 'Cause Ricky had said forever, and forever means forever. Forever. 

Except, I guess that it doesn't. Not really. Nothing is forever. Unless you were like a vampire or like that Ken guy and if that's what forever means then I don't want it. Not at all. Not ever. Not that kind of forever. 

That was really scary being caught by that Ken guy. He said it was hell and Buffy says that maybe it was. It was Ken's hell - or it was hell for us that he took there. I just wanted to shrivel up and accept it, you know, there had never been any place for me before and no one would miss me. Besides, Ricky was dead. There was no one to take care of me now. 

Except that it didn't happen that way. 

Buffy was just so brave. She just looked at the monster- hell guy and said, "I'm Buffy the Vampire Slayer, and you?" 

I wish I had that kind of guts. I mean, she just stood up to him like she didn't care. Like she wasn't even afraid. 

I would have been terrified. I was terrified. I was glad that Buffy thought I could get everybody out, though. I would have never done it on my own. I couldn't have done it - but Buffy made me do it. She made me get them up the stairs and I felt good for once. I really did. I felt like I did something right. I've never felt like that before. 

And when I pushed that Ken guy. It was nice. I know that sounds like gross and evil, but he was gross and evil, so that's what makes it okay, right? I wouldn't have done it, but he was going to have them kill Buffy. He probably would have had them kill me too, but I'm not important like Buffy. She does things. Cool things. Magic things. 

Well, no duh, she's the vampire slayer. Whatever that is. 

Anyway, I guess I'm just real lucky that she showed up. Even if she is going back now. Even if I don't know why she was here in the first place. I'm glad she's going back, kind of. I mean, I'll miss her, you know. I don't have anybody without Ricky and I'm not too good at taking care of myself. But Buffy doesn't belong here - even someone stupid like me can see that. 

And she said that I could be Anne. That's really cool. 'Cause Anne can take care of herself. Anne's smart and she's got a lot of guts. Anne can take care of herself. Anne can wait tables and pay rent. 

And I'm going to make Buffy proud. I'm going to be a really great Anne. 

'Cause Buffy said that I can do it. 

** ~ End ~ **

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   [1]: mailto:writer@alternate-realities.net



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